Longnecks.

That feeling, you know the one, the one where you snap, momentarily.

The moment springs up on a bi-monthly basis. Tonight was a moment, before that, Thanksgiving. 

Now I say "bi-monthly" as a loose term, seeing as it's not clockwork. It's not as if I'm ovulating and waiting for that right moment to get frisky. Clearly there was a gap larger than two months in between my outbursts, but the next moment could be a few weeks from now.

This moment, after chatting about upcoming family schedulings (Our trip to Florida, Family portraits, Family portraits in Florida, What diet they should be on so they look trim for Family portraits in Florida... the usual) I snapped like a palm tree burdened with three feet of compacted sleet. The details might knock you cold like a bottle of ambien and three shots of grey goose, so I'll spare you.  

Hey, I'm easier than the Monday morning crossword, but sometimes the tension of various things (douchers, douchers at work, doucher clients, douchers that steal your reservation at Texas Roadhouse) detonates and I vomit words that need to be said, but never should come out of my monday morning mouth. Yes, I did tell my mother to shut up. Should I have said it, No. Was I jazzed afterwards? You betcha.