About that...

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Bossy Diva

Shut up and embrace the sound of silence.

Toxic

I don't particularly enjoy getting conflicting messages on a daily basis... especially when dealing with important life matters.  But that's just me.

Nevertheless, I'm just going to sit here, drink my lemon drink, and watch whatever happens happen.  With a smile on my face for that matter.  So, I hope you don't have a problem with that.  I don't see why you would, but if you do... I'm sorry that your life is so tragic.

Midnights

So, I ate a lot of pasta and then went running.

I got a delicious pasta dish from this new place, Cafe Paesan, it's like Cafe Rio, but with Italian food (consensus: Tex Mex always wins, but irregardless, it was delicious).  I ate it... All of it.  It's not like a little bit of pasta either, it's like... A lot of pasta, okay?

Anyways, I ate all of the pasta and was lying in my bed, digesting, and started to think on how I didn't run today. Or stretch.  Or work on my fitness in general.  So I get in the car and head to Gold's.  And I get there, and I'm doing some biceps and triceps and hamstrings and all those fun things, and I'm feeling fine.  And then I start running.  Around 1.5 miles, I start to feel things working their way back up.  Not a fast pace or anything, just taking moseying on up with some gas bubbles.  "It's fine," I say, "I have a mile and half more to go."  And I keep running.  Well, around 1.75 miles, listening to the Killers live album that they recorded while doing a concert in London (amazing, by the way), things aren't looking to happy for the future.  So I stop running at 2 miles, and start walking... Yes, walking.  On a treadmill.  At Gold's Gym.  Who am I? Anyways... My stomach starts to calm itself and I says to myself, I says "That would have been one hot mess if I kept running."  And then I exited the gym.

That's all I have to say.  Nothing thoughtful.  Nothing insightful.  Get over it.

My Favorite Things

I packed my orange Ogio backpack with some picnic essentials: a sliced turkey sandwich on whole grain wheat bread with mayo, mustard, havarti cheese, and thick romaine lettuce; books, both a non-fiction (the scriptures), and a novel (Empire Falls); my iPod, fully charged; a freshly baked, homemade chocolate chip cookie (for just the right moment); and my Sigg water bottle filled with ice cold fridge water (I am a full supporter of reducing our dependency on plastics).  I took a drive up canyon road, after dropping a much needed package off at the BYU mail services, and stopped at the Mt. Timpanogas Park in Provo Canyon.  Seeing as it was a Wednesday afternoon, the park was completely desolate, with the exception of passers-by on the Provo River trail. 80 pristine acres of trees, pavilions, flowers, and freshly trimmed grass just for me. 

I picked a corner of the park with a golden view of the majestic peaks looming overhead, nestled beside a set of triplet trees.  The sun was beating, washing out the color of the canyon, and the air was hot.  Lying in the grass, headphones in and listening to Norah Jones, I cracked open my novel, started to read, and nibbled at the delectable turkey sandwich I prepared for myself.  With mysterious flying bugs landing on my sweet, moist skin, and sipping from my thermos-like water bottle, I could swear I was in another world.  I felt complete.  I felt like everything in the world was at peace.  It was a genuinely authentic experience, and I want to go back tomorrow.

I love anything authentic.  I believe that appreciating the authentic moments, authentic people, authentic objects and possessions we have in this life keeps us alive.  Anything authentic is alive and blossoming with beauty, even if the exterior isn't always appealing to the eye.

Oddly Shaped Shampoo Bottles.

My mom watches The Hills? What is happening??

Change the Culture.

Read this article. Just do it. Don't question it. Read it.

Now discuss.

Now, I don't believe that everyone should cancel their cable, as the television industry employs tens of thousands of Americans, but you should.  I would, if I had that power in my household. (But just cable, I'd keep the free channels... just in case)

Maniacal Monocle

Spectacles are sexy.  Do you have a pair?  I'm jealous.

Decent vision has its setbacks. No specs for these sapphires.  I don't want to hear your "fake eye glasses" argument.  It's not the same. You know it, I know it, and the optometrist will think I'm a tool for buying prescription-free frames.

Not to mention my abnormally large head.

Frames don't fit my face.  And by frames, I mean Ray Bans. 

So, wear your glasses with pride, and know that I will be admiring them.  Especially if they hold an RB logo. Wayfarer style.

Truth.

There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.

- Freya Stark

Zest

Let's make life zesty.

Stop stressing.  Stop worrying.  Stop the negativity.

Find reasons to be happy.  I know I have.

Sure, things aren't ideal, but that's life.  Get over it.  Count your freaking blessings (you have a lot, trust me).

I know things haven't been ideal for me, but whatever, I have a loving and supportive family, good friends, a nice bed, delicious food, a pretty good relationship with God (don't judge my churchiness, cause I like it), and a million other things that so many other people don't have.  I am blessed.  I am happy.

***

So, friends, it's been a while.  Would you like an update? No? Well... that's too bad.

I came home from the MTC, it's true.  But I'll be back.  I loved it.  A lot.  I can't wait to be there again.

I am jobless.  I am looking.

I bought a gym membership (don't ask how they let me get a gym membership without a job... cause I don't know... but I get a few months free until I do get a job... good times)

My pants don't fit anymore.  My belt doesn't fit anymore.  And it's not because I gained, because I didn't... I lost.

I have $22.15 in my checking account.

How have you been?  Update me on your life, please.

The Greatest Tragedy of My Life.

Send me back to where I belong.  I've made some wrongs, but I'm righting.


It was strenuous. exciting. stressful. energetic. the lowest of lows. the highest of highs.


It was brief. I had to leave. But I'll be back.


It's something that I have to do. I have to finish. I want to finish. I will finish.


But not just yet.

Weather

You are a distinct cluster of humans.  I am honored to be in your presence.  Whatever you ask, I am willing to oblige.

I hope you have a wonderful spell, as I have mine.  Thank you graciously.

Dribble

Look at you, building up your facade.  You are a fake, a fraud, an untrue friend.  You care solely for material things.  You have no ambition, no drive, no sense of self.

I wish I could help.  I can't.

I can suggest, however, to stay true to what you say.  You don't have to lie to kick it.

Our relationship can rekindle once you find your true purpose.

Lonestar, Where Are You?

Have I told you?

This thing is happening.  This wildly life-altering amazing thing is happening.  No, trees are not screwing with us and our preservation brain functions.  This is so much better than that.

It's a mission.  My mission.

Anxiety, Stress, Happiness, Excitement, Stress, Joy, Worry, Stress.

Just some things I am feeling right now.  I love it, I hate it, I'm ready, I'm not.  And all of this in a half an hours time...


I still have a week of these emotions that are on an endless cycle on the stair climber.  Getting me weaker, but stronger, but fatigued...  One more week.


Excitement is the main emotion.  I cannot wait.  I want to be there.  I want to do this.  


But it's hard, since I'm not there yet.  I'm not in that mindset.  I still dwell on what I'm going to miss.  

I hear all of these wonderful things that are happening, and for a second I think that I can partake of the goodness, but then I realize that I have a job to do.  One of the most important things that I will ever do.

I don't doubt my decision, it's just hard to think of putting myself on hold.  I'm glad to do it, it's just a strange feeling.

Happy Thing There, Everyone

Deep Fascination

Elegant and Exquisite

Unmitigated

Food Baby

So I felt like getting Cafe Rio for dinner.

And I had a free dessert ticket from my last meal (if you do like a six second survey).

I go to pay, and hand them the ticket, and they look through the bag and see that the pie (I got pie, fresh lime pie, best pie ever) it had tipped to the side and all the whipped cream had fallen off.  I didn't care, it tasted the same, it was free. 

Well that was just unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE. In the eyes of the migrant worker at least.

She wanted to get me a new one. I refused. She took it to her manager, she was like "he doesn't care, just give it to him" and I was like, "yeah, just give it to me." 

This went on for a few minutes.  Holding up the line.

I really didn't care.

I didn't get a drink (because I had a massive one at home).

She insisted, insisted, that I get a drink.  For free.

She wouldn't take no for an answer.

And then gave me another ticket for free pie.

Free pie results in a free drink and more free pie.

How do they make money?

Oh yeah, those $8.5 salads.

New music here. and here.

Home

I was listening to this man, middle aged, skinny, small in height, big ego, bigger truck (compensating?), and he was chatting with this other man (who acts like a boy), and they talked about family.

I felt obligated to listen, as I was mildly in the conversation, whist mildly continuing a winning streak on Solitaire (a rare feat, and doing it while multitasking. Terrific moment).

Well, the skinny said to the boy "I run my family like a business."

He went on to tell  boy that his children are more like his employees, and when results aren't produced, punishments are made.

Boy was amazed.  Boy wanted to learn more.  Boy wanted to be Skinny's apprentice.

I wanted to throw up.

Never will my family be thought of as a business.  We aren't the mafia.  My family will be treated like a family.  A loving family.  With two parents.  And a dog.  And every situation will be dealt with differently. 

No strange rules (he had strange rules), no paperwork, no egotistical father (hopefully.... definitely).

Boys, in this profession, are stupid. I'll be done soon, so everything will turn back to greatness.

Joy

Is that hard to come by? Can that be changed by one person? Are you searching in the wrong place? Living in the wrong place? Intermingling with the wrong people? 


You should make a drastic shift in your life. I should too. Let's do it together, shall we?

I Give Up.

No, seriously. I give up.

God doesn't want me to have a drivers license. And I'm okay with that.

Really, really, I am.

Now, just to clarify, I do actually have a drivers license.  I obtained it October 22, 2007.  When I was 17 (I do everything a little slow.)

eric's reasons on why his license should be revoked:

1.  The first times that I manned the Land Cruiser alone, I backed it into a blue spruce.  It was on our lawn. It scraped the front fender and broke the bug deflector. 

2.  A few months later, on Thanksgiving, I backed the Land Cruiser into my fathers work truck.  The truck was fine, but the Land Cruisers door was not.  I'm thankful for being an awesome driver.

3.  A year and a half later, in February, actually having a license this time, I totaled one of my dads work trucks.  Coming home from work.  In the mall parking lot.  Hitting, not a car, but a 10,000 pound lamp post, with a friendly cement base.

4.  I go off to Hawaii.  Then, home for Christmas break, I blow a tire on the freeway in the Land Cruiser coming home from Salt Lake.  I don't know how to repair a flat.  Awesome.  I am wearing my locals.  Double awesome.

5.  Just days after the tire incident,  Two days before Christmas, driving in Provo, in the Land Cruiser, in a foot of snow, I slide into some poor man. Completely tore up the front passenger side of the LC (man that car has been through a lot, little guy, he's a trooper).  Merry freakin' Christmas.

6.  Well, I pay that deductible off (I tend to do that a lot), and then go back to Hawaii.  Weeks after my return, in a truck (different truck, new truck), I scrape the side with a pole as I come out of a bank stall.  I will never be a patron of Wells Fargo, thank you.

7.  To pay this off, I start a job(the job I currently have, almost a year later) and get this, as a driver.  Well, a month goes by, and a man runs a red light right in front of me, as I begin to go through the intersection. Awesome. But he didn't hit me.  The other guy that ran a red light in the same intersection just seconds after, in the opposite direction, does hit me. Awesome.  Dealing with insurance is terrific, I love being patronized for hours over the phone.  Thank you, weird guy from Colorado here on business, you are the best.

8.  Winter rolls in, but the snow plows do not.  There is seriously two feet of snow on Bangerter Highway (the busiest highway in Utah), packed and slick, with snow falling around, and I lose control and hit a reflective pole. Delightful.  But it was on company time, so no deductible for me!

9.  April 27, 2010, my last accident that will ever be witnessed by anyone or anything. Ever. Because my license will be cut up.  By me, because I didn't cause the accident.  Some trick named Taffara rammed the bumper of my delivery truck.  But I am sick of it.  I'm done.  Once I leave this job (in two weeks) I will be done. No more driving for Eric ever again.

Thank you.

Oh, did I tell you that I have been on driving probation for about 9 months? Yeah.  I love driving. Driving is my favorite.

Square Things with Sharp Edges

Sometimes I buy five gallons of Sunny Delight at a time.

Sometimes I eat an entire loaf (stick?) of fresh crusty european bread.

Sometimes I sit on my couch for hours, reading, and writing, and listening.

Sometimes a wave of creativity flows through me (kind of like five gallons of Sunny Delight would) and I go and buy stuff to make.

Sometimes I look at the sky in the twilight of the evening and can't picture anything more idyllic to end the day.

Sometimes I wonder how life became so wonderful.

Then I remember. And it's a good feeling.